Book Review 2024.05: Never Split the Difference -Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, 258 pages, Paperback, 2016
Written by Chris Voss, the FBI hostage negotiator this book is a combination of gripping anecdotes of his negotiations with kidnappers coupled with insightful lessons learnt and practiced in these tense negotiations. Reading this book made me realize that good negotiation skills can be learnt, practiced and perfected. Further negotiations need not be conflicts with the other side being our enemy. My aha movement was to realize that good negotiations are a collaborative process for uncovering value.
The author unfolds the triggers that resulted in negotiations becoming a field of academic study in 1979 with the setting up of Harvard Negotiation Project and the distinct stages through which negotiations was understood starting with the rational approach to negotiation captured in the popular book Getting to Yes, to the advent of behavioral model where emotions are recognized and leveraged in negotiations.
Illustrating the different techniques and methods used in successful negotiations with the author’s own FBI experience of negotiating with kidnappers and ransom seekers, these concepts are made more relatable by sharing examples from the business world of his students and his consulting experience. Of the many techniques explained, I found the use of ‘What’ and ‘How’ as a substitute every time you want to say no, as my greatest learning experience and the one easiest to practice. Being acutely aware of my short comings as a listener, I found the main reason why I was a bad negotiator, as listening is the key to negotiations. Good negotiators I learnt have a high listen to talk ratio, combined with asking open ended questions.
I believe this book can help readers be more effective in life, pleasant in relationships, and successful commercially, in addition to becoming more effective listeners. I commend this book to all students and practioners of business and all those interested in negotiations be it commercial, political or social.
Happy reading to become a better listener and negotiator.
